Tongue Tied

The All Droid Station Ident

The exclusive and elusive "Stir Master"

All Droid is automated, mail-order shopping channel which exists in the Red Dwarf universe. Unlike other channels like Groovy Channel 27, All Droid is still being broadcast into Deep Space, and is still operated by robots aboard a space station, three million years into the future.

When Red Dwarf flew into the catchment area of the station, Dave Lister and the Cat began watching, first dismissing it as junk. However, when the "stir-master" is advertised, a device that claims can save you up to two weeks time spent otherwise stirring cups of tea in your life-time, they got on the phone to it to order one. Lister was then put on hold, and spent the next 24 hours either on hold or desperately trying to get hold of a useful droid. Lister became obsessive, saying that even if Kristine Kochanski appeared wanting sex he would not hang up. When someone wishes to complain about being put on hold, they will be put on hold again to be referred to the complaint department, which apparently no longer exists. Even the normally-reserved mechanoid Kryten ended up losing his temper and screaming obscenities down the phone when he attempted to resolve Lister's problems, "mechanical to mechanical."

Lister even attempted to go for the phone when threatened by Sim Crawford. Just as he finally got through to someone useful, however, Lister didn't get to it in time and the operator hung up. (RD: Trojan)