Tongue Tied

A wanted poster for the Apocalypse Boys in the town of Existence

The Apocalypse Boys were manifestations of the Armageddon Virus in Kryten's Wild West-inspired fever dream.


When Kryten deliberately contracted the Armageddon Virus in order to work on an antidote, he started to dream that he was the sheriff of a small frontier town named Existence in the Old West. Posters nailed up announced that the outlawed Apocalypse Boys were wanted dead or alive. While Kryten was in the Last Chance Saloon getting drunk, one of the patrons, Jimmy, announced that The Apocalypse Boys were outside and that they wanted the sheriff.

Out in the street, Kryten looked up at the four villainous outlaws on horseback. One of the four did all the talking, introducing himself and the others:

  • Brother Death - The leader of the gang, he looked a lot like the captain of the Simulant Battle Cruiser that gave Starbug the Armageddon Virus. He dressed in black and sported a bushy moustache and an American accent.
  • Brother War - A long-haired, monobrowed fighter who liked to breathe fire. He dressed in a mix of U.S cavalry uniform and native American skins.
  • Brother Famine - A corpulent, one-eyed man who was eating a chicken leg. He had an eyepatch and carried a blunderbuss.
  • Brother Pestilence - Filthy and diseased, he was dressed in dirty clothes and was surrounded by a swarm of flies that he lazily swatted away.

Kryten tried to be nice to them, but they were only interested in making him leave town. They fired their weapons at his feet, making him dance about and told him that he had one hour to flee. They then left him and rode out of Existence. Kryten prepared to leave, throwing his badge on the ground.

Dave Lister, Arnold Rimmer, and Cat entered the dream as computer game characters from the game Streets of Laredo to help Kryten, preparing him for the return of the Apocalypse Boys. The Dwarfers faced them in the street and when Death noticed that Kryten had help, he spread the virus to the Artificial Reality console and erased the special skills of his opponents.

Rimmer tried to take Brother War on in hand-to-hand combat, but was beaten mercilessly with a hitching post. The Dwarfers realised that they were helpless and managed to escape by removing their AR helmets before Rimmer could be stabbed by all four Boys.

The Apocalypse Boys then turned on Kryten, who had finished his antidote. They shot him with every weapon they had, but he shrugged off the hits and threw his own weapons at them. The revolvers turned into doves, the Dove Antidote Program, which quickly dissolved the Apocalypse Boys, restored Kryten's core program and and ended the dream. ("Gunmen of the Apocalypse", Series VI).