Tongue Tied

"Now that's the kind of cash that opens anybody's legs."
- Blaize Falconburger (RD: Timeslides)



Blaize Falconburger was the presenter of "Lifestyles of the disgustingly rich and famous".


When Lister used a Timeslide to alter his personal history, he accidently erased The Cat and Kryten from their timelines. Rimmer needed photographic evidence of Lister's new life if he was to go back and correct the mistake. The only picture reference that Holly could find was an edition of a television program called "Lifestyles of the disgustingly rich and famous".

The show's host was a loud, American woman called Blaize Falconburger. She wore a power suit reminiscent of the 1980s, large spectacles and had shoulder length brown hair. She was very brash and direct, with a tendency to snort with laughter.

She explained that Dave "Tension Sheet" Lister had transported his mansion brick-by-brick from half a mile away, just to get away from the neighbours. The gravel in the driveway was the remains of Buckingham Palace that Lister had ground down to line the road. She went on to say that Lister had made himself No.1 in the music charts by purchasing 3 million copies of his own single "Om". Falconburger suggested that this meant Lister would never be short of ashtrays.

Falconburger did not seem to have much respect for the millionaire Lister, stating that although he had not suffered any tragedy during his life, she hoped that he would soon. The next segment on her show was the life of Dr. Bob Porkman, father of "The condom that calls you back". Rimmer turned off the recording so that he could make a timeslide of Lister's home. (RD: Timeslides)

Behind the scenes

The first actor to be cast in the role of the TV presenter was Monty Python star Graham Chapman. Tragically, Chapman died shortly before the filming was to take place. Director Ed Bye asked his wife, American actress and comedian Ruby Wax, to take the role at short notice. When she agreed, the role was rewritten for her delivery style.