Tongue Tied

Kryten (left) attends the support group of Chairbot Excalibur (right)

Chairbot Excalibur was a male Mk. 3 DivaDroid Series 4000 mechanoid who lived aboard SS Vespasian with the other MILFs (the Mechanoid Intergalactic Liberation Front).


One of Chairbot Excalibur's group therapy sessions

Excalibur, formerly known as DB9-HK4, proclaimed himself to be a "robot slave survivor". Excalibur also chaired the group therapy sessions for the MILFs on Deck 12 of SS Vespasian, which also included Incense and Eagle.

Excalibur asked his fellow mechs to hold hands and "form a circle of trust", so that they could connect wirelessly. He encouraged them to share their stories from when they were living lives of servitude under humans. He reminded the mechs that what they had experienced was not their fault, that they didn't have funny shaped heads no matter what humans said, and that their heads were very sensibly shaped.

Although Kryten was hesitant to share with the group, Excalibur convinced Kryten to share some stories of when his master Dave Lister had irritated him. This included improper use of a dishwasher, and refusing to move his feet when Kryten was trying to vacuum. Excalibur asked the other mechs to applaud Kryten's progress, causing Kryten to smile.

This was to begin the process which would see Kryten become prepared to renounce his fellow Dwarfers and join the MILFs, which he almost did if not for Lister's speech to Kryten during Kryten's MILF inauguration which reminded Kryten of how they had been more than master and slave, but friends and even family. ("Siliconia", Series XII)


  • Chairbot Excalibur had presumably been instrumental in persuading a large number of mechs to the MILF cause.

Behind the Scenes

  • Chairbot Excalibur was portrayed by Marcus Garvey, who modeled his performance on studying his own family members who are therapists.[1] He is the younger brother of Guy Garvey, the lead singer of the English rock band Elbow.


  1. "The 28 Years Later Affair", Series XII DVD making-of documentary

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