David Listerton-Smythe was the name given to Lister by Arnold Rimmer when he pretended that Lister was a member of the SS Trojan's crew.


"David Listerton-Smythe" - Left


When Rimmer was contacted by his brother Howard aboard the Columbus 3, he wanted to pretend that he (Rimmer) was a captain so as not to be embarrassed when his more successful sibling arrived. To this end, he convinced the Boys from the Dwarf to masquerade as his senior officers. They put on the dead crew's uniforms and insignia and took their places on the bridge.

When Howard beamed aboard with Sim Crawford, Arnold explained that he was the ship's captain and proceeded to introduce his officers.

He announced that Lister was his first officer, Lieutenant Commander David Listerton-Smythe. He was wearing the snug, elasticated jumpsuit and rank insignia of one of the dead crew. Howard was delighted to see the insignia, which indicated that Lister was a Touch-T. Lister agreed wholeheartedly, leading Howard to question him about his abilities. Lister had to bluff, since he had no idea what a Touch-T was. Kryten surreptitiously informed him that it meant touch telepathy, so Lister pretended to read Howard's mind by grasping his head. He correctly guessed that Howard was thinking about pain, discomfort and how hard his head was being held. (RD: Trojan)