Tongue Tied

"Serving the King is reward enough."
"Are you of the Household of Lister of Smeg? Then prepare to die."
-Good Knight ("Stoke Me a Clipper")


The Good Knight was the champion of the Camelot court. ("Stoke Me a Clipper")

About Good Knight[]

When Dave Lister's libido was getting too much for him to bear, he decided to use a book of cheats on an Artificial Reality game. In this game, the player took the role of a knight at the court of Camelot. The King and Queen of Camelot were hosting a jousting tournament, which Lister entered as "Lister of Smeg" with Kryten as his manservant.

His first challenge was to fight a duel against the King's champion, the Good Knight, who was a tall, dark-haired knight wearing the royal colours of red and blue. He was something of a sycophant, telling the King that he wanted no reward for his services. The game was designed to make it impossible to defeat the knight at such an early level, but Lister's cheats made it easy.

The first cheat "Steedcheat" made the Good Knight's magnificent white warhorse transform into a small Shetland pony. Lister then was able to throw away his lance and behead the knight with his sword. The knight's head landed in the King's lap. Lister was then able to claim his prize - a night and a day in the Queen's bed.

Goodknight2

The Good Knight emerges from the AR Suite

Later, when Rimmer was pretending to be his alter-ego Ace, he noticed that the AR suite was seemingly malfunctioning. A cloud of smoke billowed out, followed by the Good Knight. He demanded to know the whereabouts of "Lister of Smeg", and when Rimmer claimed to be a member of Smeg's household, the knight attacked him. Throwing Rimmer a sword, the knight engaged him in a brutal melee through Starbug's corridors with Rimmer offering various mediation scenarios, such as a pot of tea and some toasted muffins.

The knight was too good a swordsman for Rimmer, but when they passed a Bazookoid mounted on the wall, Rimmer grabbed it and shot the Good Knight several times. Rimmer was impressed, as this was his bravest act ever. However, when Rimmer had left the knight for dead, the character got up and swapped the blanks in the bazookoid for live ammunition. He then removed his helmet to reveal that it was actually Lister disguised as the Good Knight, in order to push Rimmer to bravery.

Lister was later able to convince Kryten and The Cat that the Good Knight was responsible for killing Ace, allowing Rimmer to take his place. ("Stoke Me a Clipper")

Trivia[]

  • Since the game was based on Arthurian legend, it is possible the Good knight was based on the legendary King Arthur's best knight and greatest champion, Lancelot.