Tongue Tied

Starbug enters the atmosphere of the lava moon ("Gunmen of the Apocalypse", Series VI)

The lava moon was a non-S3 planetoid in Deep Space. The surface of the moon was entirely molten lava.


When the boys from the Dwarf successfully defeated the Simulant Battle Cruiser, the last act of their enemies was to transmit the Armageddon Virus over to Starbug. This locked the Dwarfers out of the navicomp of Starbug, locking them on a strait course and giving them only 38 minutes before they collided with the lava moon.

Kryten contracted the Armageddon Virus in order to study it and devise a Dove Antidote Program. His subconscious struggle manifested into a Wild West-inspired dreamscape called Existence, where he was a drunken, down-at-heel sheriff struggling against the outlaw "Apocalypse Boys".

Dave Lister, Arnold Rimmer and the Cat then entered Existence by hooking up Kryten to the AR Suite (Artificial Reality Suite) and entering Kryten's mind as characters from an AR Western game, Streets of Laredo. Lister was knifeman Brett Riverboat, Rimmer was barefist fighter Dangerous Dan McGrew, and Cat was legendary gunfighter The Riviera Kid.

During an intense showdown, Brother Death was able to erase their special skills, forcing the Dwarfers to retreat back to reality. However, the showdown had bought Kryten enough time to complete the Dove Antidote Program, and he was able to use it to eliminate the Armageddon Boys / Armageddon Virus.

Unfortunately, they were not able to regain control of the navicomp quickly enough to stop colliding with the lava moon, and Starbug crashed into the lava with a puff of flame. However, a few seconds later, Starbug emerged from the lava with its rockets blaring out on full. Although the hull was steaming and the underbelly of the 'bug was glowing red hot, the ship was still structurally intact. Starbug then flew off into the sunset of the local star, and the Dwarfers gave out a massive "ye-haw" like cowboys from the cockpit. ("Gunmen of the Apocalypse", Series VI)