Tongue Tied

"Guaranteed to defeat any seduction attempt" ("Krytie TV", Series VIII)

Morris Dancer Monthly was a magazine collected and read by Arnold Rimmer.


The periodical was aimed at aficionados of traditional English folk dancing. Rimmer was a big fan, often trying to encourage his fellow Dwarfers to engage in Morris dancing. They would usually pretend to be ill or worse. ("Dimension Jump", Series IV)

When Kryten gave Dave Lister a series of items with which to sabotage his love rival's quarters, they included several items belonging to Rimmer. One such item was a few copies of Morris Dancer Monthly, designed to make Tim look like a "total nerdo dweebmeister". Lister left the magazines in what he thought were Tim's quarters, but they turned out to be the quarters of Warden Ackerman. Lister and Rimmer managed to retrieve the magazines and other items before Ackerman returned. ("Krytie TV", Series VIII)

When Lister took control of the Creator's typewriter in the joy squid's hallucination, he typed actions for the other three to perform. For Rimmer, he wrote for him to Morris dance and afterward slam his groin into a table. ("Back to Earth, Part Three")

Cat read a copy of Morris Dancer Monthly while he was waiting to see the Denti-bot. It is possible that the magazines served as a form of anaesthetic. ("Fathers and Suns", Series X)

After being goaded by Lister, Rimmer decided to play poker with Lister and Cat, confidently proclaiming they weren't going to win his back issues of Morris Dancer Monthly. ("Cured", Series XII)

Behind the Scenes

The prop copies of MDM were purpose-built covers fitted over real magazines. Several of them were cut up for use as trading cards. Some survived and were sold as collector's items.

Articles featured on the cover of Morris Dancer Monthly have included "Clog manufacturers" and "How to avoid heat exhaustion".