Tongue Tied

Flight Commander Nirvanah Crane was a Space Corps officer later resurrected as a hologram to serve aboard the holoship Enlightenment. Crane is assumed to have an incredibly high IQ much like her fellow crewmates.


Crane greeted Arnold Rimmer when he boarded Enlightenment for the first time and explained the basic concepts regarding the ship, including its hologrammatic composition, its crew, and daily life. She said that the crew did not believe in love and relationships, believing them to be outmoded concepts, and instead simply had sex as a matter of casual recreation. She invited Rimmer to have sex with her, and when they had finished they had an awkward moment where it appeared that there might be a relationship in the making. Nirvanah tried to dismiss the mood.

Rimmer's request to join the Enlightenment crew required him to challenge and replace one of the existing crewmembers. By random chance, Nirvanah was secretly chosen as his opponent. Rimmer used a mind patch to do well in the challenge, however its effects wore off in the midst of it. Still unaware that Nirvanah was his opponent, Rimmer bemoaned to her about his terrible fortune but she reassured him that he shouldn't give up. Later, she conceded the challenge to Rimmer and he took her place aboard Enlightenment. When Rimmer was led to his new quarters, he recognised them as Nirvanah's and learned that he replaced her. He chose to resign so that she could be reinstated. ("Holoship", Series V)



  • In an interview between Nirvanah Crane and Talkie Toaster on the official Red Dwarf website, the hologram Nirvanah Crane reveals that she was born in 2482, and worked on Triton. Crane died on Pluto at some point in the early 2500s. Whilst conducting tests on diminishing nuclear fallout, some scientists inadvertently blew up Pluto with Crane on it. Crane was resurrected as a hologram and, as one of the best geniuses in the Solar System, was posted to the Holoship. Interview

Behind the Scenes

  • Crane was portrayed by Jane Horrocks, who in the DVD special features claims that she based her performance on that of Joanna Lumley.