Tongue Tied

Does the pod contain Rimmer's Quagaars?
Or is it a garbage pod?
("Waiting for God", Series I)

"Oh God, aliens... Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it? You lose your keys - it's aliens. A picture falls off the wall - it's aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day, you thought that was aliens as well!"
- Lister to Rimmer ("Kryten")

Quagaars are a supposed alien race that Arnold Rimmer hypothesised, but they were never encountered by the boys from the Dwarf, or actually even existed. Given that Red Dwarf has a strict "no aliens" rule, the "Quagaars" were merely the result of Rimmer's obsession with extraterrestrial life.

Dave Lister once told Rimmer that it was just them and "a load of smegging space rocks" and no aliens, which he mockingly called "Zargons" in response to Rimmer's Quagaars. Rimmer dismissed this, saying that it would be too much of an existential dilemma if aliens didn't exist, and they were truly alone. ("Waiting for God")


When Red Dwarf found a pod floating in Deep Space, Rimmer was very excited. He was convinced that it was a piece of alien technology that could lead him to their civilisation, who may be able to give the hologram his physical body back. Unable to decipher the writing on the pod, he arbitrarily decided that the aliens were called the Quagaars. Lister mocked Rimmer's obsession with aliens.

Rimmer did extensive studies of the markings and was desperate to see what was inside the pod, but insisted that a quarantine period be observed. When he finally allowed Lister to open the pod, Rimmer saw what he thought were the perfectly preserved remains of a Quagaar warrior, or a beautiful alien woman with six breasts. In reality the pod was one of Red Dwarf's garbage pods. Rimmer had never done duty in that section of the ship and was unaware of what the pods looked like. When Lister asked Holly why he hadn't told Rimmer, Holly replied that it was "a laugh". Lister gleefully covered the writing up. Rimmer eventually found out to his frustration the truth.("Waiting for God", Series I)