Tongue Tied

The Queen of Camelot was an AR computer game character. ("Stoke Me a Clipper")


When Lister's libido was getting too much for him to bear, he decided to use a book of cheats on an Artificial Reality game. In this game, the player took the role of a knight at the court of Camelot. The King and Queen of Camelot were hosting a tournament, which Lister entered as "Lister of Smeg".

The Queen was a very pretty, young blonde woman who spoke with a French accent. She wore a long yellow dress and a coronet. Lister found her very attractive.

When Lister challenged the King's champion to a joust, the King asked him what he would ask for if he should be victorious, Lister asked for a night and a day in the Queen's bed. The King was angry when the Queen accepted rather quickly, insisting that they should talk it through. She seemed rather excited by the thought of being the prize.

When Lister used his cheats to win the joust easily, the knight's head landed in the King's lap. As the Queen walked toward Lister's tent, the King explained that Lister's plan would not succeed and brandished a key. Lister then used a second cheat to make the Queen's chastity belt fall off. They then went into his tent, which began to bounce up and down. The King demanded that Lister emerge from the tent and beg for forgiveness, to which Lister replied that he needed whipped cream.

Lister never got to finish his liaison with the Queen, because the program shut down shortly after. ("Stoke Me a Clipper")

Behind the scenes

  • Sarah Alexander's scenes had to be reshot after the first day's filming was ruined by torrential rain.