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Camille is the first episode in Series IV of Red Dwarf, and the nineteenth episode overall. It first aired 14 February 1991 on BBC2.

Overview[]

Kryten, who has been undergoing a crash course in lying and insulting from Lister, falls in love with a being that can appear as the perfect mate to each individual member of the Boys from the Dwarf.

Summary[]

Aboard Red Dwarf Arnold Rimmer impatiently waits in the shuttle bays for Kryten to take him "asteroid spotting".

Camille insults

Dave Lister teaching Kryten how to lie, and how to insult smeghead Rimmer

Meanwhile, Kryten sits in the Officer's Quarters with Lister who continues to try help Kryten break his programming to lie and insult. Lister tries to teach Kryten how to lie by showing him things and asking him to identify them wrong, such as calling a banana a "small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden", a orange "a red and blue striped golfing umbrella", and an apple "the Bolivian Navy on manoeuvrers in the South Pacific." Kryten is however unable to keep this up in front of Cat. Kryten then finally goes down to the hangar to meet with Rimmer, and they depart in Starbug. In the cockpit of Starbug, Kryten uses his lessons on insults and lying against him, but is unable to say "smeg head", instead managing only "smeee heeee".

Camille ship

Starbug finds Camille's ship, SS Penhalagen

Starbug suddenly detects a distress signal emanating from a crashed ship, SS Penhalagen, which is stranded on a moon that is about to explode. Although a scared Rimmer demands that Kryten turn around, Kryten sets a course for the stricken vessel whilst lying and telling Rimmer that he is not.

Krytencamille

Kryten falling in love

Exploring the wreck, Kryten nearly falls down a gaping chasm, but is saved by a female mechanoid survivor who appears and pulls him up to safety. The female mechanoid identifies herself as Camille. Kryten and Camille instantly discover that they have much in common, and begin to flirt heavily, or at least in a mechanoid manner (such as admiring each others registration numbers, and offering to swap eyes). Camille hesitates to leave when Kryten tells her he is part of a crew, to the point she is willing to remain on the doomed planet, but he assures her she'll like them... well, maybe one of them at least.

Kryten returns with Camille to Starbug, but when Rimmer sees her, he sees not a mechanoid but rather a beautiful female hologram. Like with Kryten, Camille's personality is perfectly suited to Rimmer (she claims to have also been a Second Technician who wanted to go further but kept failing exams) and they get along famously, and the two become quite taken with each other. In the cockpit, Kryten and Rimmer discuss the possibility of there being romance in the air with both believing they're talking about themselves, although Kryten is alarmed when Rimmer notes that Camille reminds him of his sister-in-law.

Arriving back on Red Dwarf, Lister goes to check on Camille only to see her as a flirty Liverpudlian with similar fashion sense and personality. Lister begins to flirt, telling her it's their responsibility as the last two humans in the universe to repopulate the race and offers to change into his Spider-Man costume. Rimmer then arrives and invites Camille to look through his collection of pictures of 20th-century telegraph poles. When Lister pours scorn on such an utterly boring idea, Rimmer insists that Camille shares his love of both telegraph poles and Reggie Wilson. Lister is perplexed when he hears Camille insult these, yet Rimmer responds as if she's agreeing. He asks her what's going on and she admits, to Lister's disappointment, that she's a Pleasure GELF.

Cat-high5

Cat high-fives his "perfect mate"

Lister tells Cat later that GELFs are Genetically Engineered Life Forms, with Pleasure GELFs designed to appear as a person's perfect match, hence why everyone views her differently. Cat is very excited at the idea of meeting his perfect mate who would fall instantly in love with him, and proceeds to meet Camille. Entering the Science Room, Cat is stopped in his tracks at the sight of Camille... looking exactly like him. It turns out Cat's vanity is so extreme the person most perfect for him is himself. Nevertheless, Cat is overjoyed and leaves with a huge grin on his face, eager for a brandy.

The crew discuss their disappointment that their perfect partners were nothing more than a GELF in disguise, although Lister is sympathetic to Camille knowing she can't help how she looks to them. Camille then apologizes to the crew for the unintentional deception, and reveals her true form... an amorphous green blob with an eye-stalk. She feels the most guilty for hurting Kryten however, blind to notions of beauty, he still wants to date her. They go dancing to the Parrots Bar, go for a romantic spin in Starbug, and watch Casablanca at the cinema, and begin falling in love.

Hector-pg

With Lister's training, Kryten is able to let Camille and Hector go...

That is, until her blob husband Hector, who is looking for an antidote to their condition, finds her. Kryten convinces a reluctant Camille to leave with Hector, since it is her best shot at happiness, using dialogue from Lister's favourite film, Casablanca; instead of saying "we'll always have Paris", he says "we'll always have Parrots".

As the blobs leave, Lister tells Kryten that he was lying to make sure Camille left. Kryten confirms this, saying he knew it was her best shot at being happy. He then confirms that he's blaming all of this on Lister, and calls him a "complete and total smeg head". Lister is happy to have been insulted, and the two walk as he remarks that this will be start of "a beautiful friendship".

Guest Stars[]

Deleted Scenes[]

Available on the Series IV DVD:

  • Extended dialogue to various scenes; these include Rimmer's happiness at asteroid-spotting, Lister talking about lost love Kochanski, and the "Hammy Hamster" discussion.
  • A new scene of Kryten and blob-Camille slow-dancing in the Parrots Bar.

Trivia[]

  • Kryten lying, and Lister helping him to do it, is a follow from the last episode where Kryten lied for the first time and in so doing defeated Hudzen-10.
  • Camille's hologram form is wearing a red version of Rimmer's outfit, a design which would be carried forward into Series V and worn by Rimmer himself.
  • Lister and Cat discuss "Hammy Hamster" whilst watching old television recordings in the Officer's Quarters. This refers to a mid-20th century children's television show named Tales of the Riverbank which starred a hamster of that name. Lister jokes that Hammy Hamster became washed up after the show.
  • This episode heavily references Casablanca, especially the ending of the episode which mirrors the ending of the film. The film itself is also watched in the cinema by Kryten and Camille during the episode.

Background Information[]

  • The previous three series had been shot at BBC Manchester, but for series IV, with the show becoming more of a hit, filming moved to Shepperton Studios (the "Hollywood of the UK" where James Bond films are often shot) and so were able more lavish sets and higher production values. Mel Bibby added a long corridor which could be shuffled around and re-lighted easily to appear as different corridors and give the ship a sense of scale. The cast also found this better since they were able to rehearse where shooting would take place for the first time.
  • This episode was originally scheduled to air second in the run of Series IV, however it was moved up following the postponement of "Meltdown" as it was felt to be an appropriate one to air on Valentine's Day.
  • Suzanne Rhatigan, who played Lister's Camille, was Craig Charles' real-life girlfriend at the time. She went on to become a noted singer-songwriter (some of her early recordings were actually co-written by Charles). It was originally planned for Lister's Camille to be Kristine Kochanski, but it was decided that the sudden and inexplicable reappearance of Lister's dead ex-girlfriend would tip him off too soon that something wasn't right. It was then decided that Lister's Camille would instead become a Lister-like character (essentially a Caucasian version of Deb Lister). Former Coronation Street actress Tracey Brabin shot some scenes as the Kochanski Camille, but these were eventually removed by the writers as they didn't think them strong enough. Rhatigan was brought in at last-minute. Despite the change in character, Rhatigan is still credited as "Kochanski Camille" in the closing credits.
  • Francesca Folan went on to co-star in the The House of Elliott, which aired later in 1991, and was also a recurring guest star on Jeeves and Wooster.

Errors / Inconsistencies[]

  • Factual error: While teaching Kryten to lie, Lister mentions Nelson putting a telescope to his blind eye and stating he didn't see any ships. At the Battle of Copenhagen, Lord Nelson did put a telescope to his blind eye but stated he saw no signals, not ships. The signals were for him to withdraw his ships. By ignoring the signal, Nelson went on to win the battle.
    • Although historically inaccurate, the quote attributed to Nelson is often repeated in casual conversation as Lister says it. Also, Lister incorrectly saying ships instead of signals was probably due to his limited education at Art College.
  • Plot Inconsistency: When Rimmer calls the ship to report Kryten leaving to search for survivors, Lister urges Rimmer to go with him as Kryten might need help. As well, when Kryten falls off a gantry, he calls for Rimmer to help him just before he's saved by Camille. Both of these instances seem to forget that, his abject cowardice aside, Rimmer's an insubstantial hologram at this point in the show's history. He couldn't interact with a solid object if he wanted to.
    • Rimmer could still provide an additional set of eyes and ears; call for backup if Kryten was unable; provide a diversion if necessary; guide the skutters to assist; and as a last resort can still use his light bee for a variety of purposes where he needs a physical presence, for example sensing the surrounding environment or pressing buttons.

Noteworthy Dialogue[]

  • Kryten: Smee... Hee...
  • Kryten: Camille looks like your sister-in-law? What happened, was she involved in some kind of horrific car accident!?
    Rimmer: Who, Janine? No!, of course not. She was a model!
    Kryten: And she looked like Camille?
    Rimmer: Absolutely! The resemblance is uncanny.
    Kryten: What did she model: spark plugs?
  • Kryten: We'll always have Parrots.
  • Lister / Kochanski-Camille: Sorry, Dave.
    Hologram-Camille: Sorry, Duke.
    Cat-Camille: Sorry, buddy.
    Cat: Heartbreaker!

References[]



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