Tongue Tied


Red Christmas is a short two-part Christmas special set inside a non-canon Red Dwarf universe written by Doug Naylor for the Red Dwarf Mobile Service released in 2007.


Each episode lasts about only a minute. It stars Chris Barrie as Arnold Rimmer and Robert Llewellyn as Kryten and centres around an unfortunate visit to the ship by Father Christmas. The sensors pick up him and his reindeer, but the two crew think he is an alien flying in on demons. In part two, they decide to flush Santa out into space, only to realize the truth too late. Making the best of the situation, the crew play a game of charades with the reindeer, with the spaced Santa occasionally popping up and making suggestions when he passes a view-port window.

Noteworthy dialog

  • Kryten: Sir, I’m shaking so much my nipple nuts are practically unscrewing themselves.
  • Kryten: According to the ‘who’s-just-sneaked-on-board-computer'…
  • Rimmer: Excellent. (After Kryten suggests flushing the alien, aka Santa, into space)


A review on Ganymede & Titan summed it up as "God knows, I want the mobisodes to work. I want new Dwarf back on our screens at some point, in whatever form as long as it’s good - and if these are a success, then we’re one step nearer. Moreover, this is the first opportunity we’ve had for new, ongoing, in-universe stuff for Dwarf, in whatever form, since 1999 - and I’d love something like that to work. But this is just a nothing - it’s not funny, it’s not entertaining, and it’s just doesn’t work for me in the slightest. Worse still, the fact it’s so short means that no momentum gets going at all."

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