Tongue Tied

Lister finds Rimmer's diary ("Me²", Series I)

"Being the driving force of the Red Dwarf mission, the fearless Rimmer had to dice with death on a regular basis." [Extract from Arnold J. Rimmer's Diary] ("Blue")

Rimmer's diary was a personal daily journal kept by Red Dwarf second technician Arnold Judas Rimmer. It was a fairly small book, bound in red leather.


Three million years after Rimmer's death in the radiation leak, the diary was found by Dave Lister, the last human being alive in the Galaxy. Rimmer had hidden the diary inside a larger yellow book by the bunkroom porthole window, the A to Z of Red Dwarf. Reading through it, Lister discovered a long and rambling forward denoting how important the diary will be to future generations, and with Rimmer comparing himself to Napoleon Bonaparte and Julius Caesar. However, Lister found the diary mostly empty, and with entries such as "Auntie Maggie's birthday". However, a mysterious mention of gazpacho soup prompted Lister to investigate further. ("Me²", Series I)

Going through Rimmer's diary on another occasion, Lister discovered some rather embarrassing draft love letters which Rimmer had prepared to send to Carol McCauley. ("Stasis Leak", Series II)

There was also mention of a hologram "future" Rimmer head appearing through the bunkroom table, which the "past" Rimmer had put down to being on Titan Mushrooms at the time. The ramblings of the "future" Rimmer in the diary entry led the Dwarfers to a stasis leak on Floor 16, which "future" Rimmer had directed the "past" Rimmer to. This enabled the Dwarfers to travel back in time to before the radiation leak. ("Stasis Leak", Series II)

After being resurrected as a hologram, Rimmer continued to keep his diary. Four pages were inexplicably torn out of it when the crew found they were missing four days of their lives, causing Rimmer to believe it was aliens. He later discovered that he has done this himself, to cover up a rather sad incident. ("Thanks for the Memory", Series III)

When Rimmer was temporarily missing from the crew, Lister found himself unexpectedly missing Rimmer. As part of a psychological "cure", and to remind Lister of why he had hated Rimmer, Kryten created The Rimmer Experience using the very false and self-promoting entries in Rimmer's diary, which in Rimmer's own words depicted him as a hero, loved and respected by his crew. Kryten's "cure" worked very well. ("Blue", Series VII)

After the hologram Rimmer left the other Dwarfers in an attempt to become Ace Rimmer ("Stoke Me a Clipper"), the original Rimmer was resurrected in the flesh from his irradiated ashes by the nanobots. This "alive" Rimmer was able to learn of what had happened the past few years when he located the older Rimmer's diary in the crashed wreckage of Starbug from the older Red Dwarf. (Back in the Red and Back in the Red deleted scenes, Series VIII)

When Kryten once attempted to speak to Rimmer, Rimmer told Kryten that he was speaking to him "illegally" and that he had to book an appointment first through Rimmer's diary. ("Siliconia", Series XII)


  • The Red Dwarf 1996 Log Book was presented in the fashion of Rimmer's diary, with additional entries by other Dwarfers.