Tongue Tied

Simulant Captain commanded a Simulant Battle Cruiser that attacked Starbug.

The Captain appeared to be a large human man, except that he had two sets of eyebrows. His vessel prowled a region of Deep Space, searching for prey worthy of their mettle. When they encountered Starbug, the Captain scanned the vessel and realised that Humans and Humanoids were aboard. He hailed the crew and demanded that they identify themselves. Lister tried to convince him that his sensors were faulty by pretending to be Tarka Dal, a Vindaloovian ambassador. The Captain saw through this deception with ease and teleported aboard Starbug, determined that the Dwarfers posed little threat, and stunned them all.

The xenophobic Captain was not interested in simply killing the Starbug crew, but in enjoying a battle with a challenging opponent. He kept the crew unconscious for three weeks while he upgraded Starbug with faster engines, a more efficient drive interface, laser cannons, and a less squeaky pilot's chair. He assumed that Starbug would run away from his superior vessel, but one of Cat's rare workable plans was to attack the cruiser.

They made a fluke hit on the cruiser that damaged the engine core. Unable to return fire, the Captain was still determined to take Starbug down with him. He ordered his Lieutenant to hack into Starbug's navicomp and infected the computer with the "Armageddon Virus", which aimed Starbug at a nearby moon and locked the controls. He promised to see the Dwarfers in Silicon Hell, after which his ship was rocked by an explosion that crippled it beyond repair and killed him.

The Dwarfers thought that was the last they would see of him, but when Kryten contracted the virus to develop an antidote, his subconscious mind manifested the virus as a group of villains led by Brother Death, who bore an uncanny resemblance to the Simulant Captain ("Gunmen of the Apocalypse").