Tongue Tied

"Oh, you like the chow mein? That good."
- Taiwan Tony ("Fathers & Suns...")

Taiwan Tony was an A.I. vending machine who resided on B Deck of the JMC mining spaceship Red Dwarf. Taiwan Tony specialised in Chinese and Southeast Asian cuisine.

Taiwan Tony believed that he had originated in Taiwan on Earth, and had been programmed to speak English in a pronounced, over-the-top East Asian accent.


When Kryten informed Arnold Rimmer that he had been playing a game of Chinese whispers with the vending machines, Rimmer admonished Kryten for something so blatantly "racist" and suggested Kryten ask around to confirm this. Kryten went to ask Dispenser 16, who was unsure.

Dispenser 16 then asked Cat, who was also unsure. Cat went to Dave Lister and ask him if "Chinese whiskers" are racist, but he too was unsure, and suggested that Cat go ask Taiwan Tony, since Taiwan is a bit "Chinesey". Kryten eventually came to ask Taiwan Tony himself, and Taiwan Tony asked Kryten "Do Chinese knickers have braces?"

By the time this had got to the last vending machine, Dispenser 55, the question had morphed into "Do Siamese sisters get whiskers in stasis?" ("Fathers and Suns", Series X)


  • Kryten seemed to be on familiar terms with Taiwan Tony, calling him "TT". It is mentioned during the episode that Kryten had spent nights playing games with the vending machines.
  • Taiwan Tony claimed that he made his own food (although it is unclear how this could be possible), and he hates Dispenser 55 on G Deck since "He know nothing! He all pre-package! All microwave!"

Behind the Scenes

  • The voice of Taiwan Tony and his phrase "it very strange question" is based on the British spoof Japanese game show Banzai.