Tongue Tied

Kryten with the Time Wand

Kryten firing an energy field from the Time Wand

Cat and Kochanski reverted to children

Outfits from their teenage years

The Time Wand was an advanced timeline-manipulating device and temporal storage unit created by the original, unseen crew of SS Manny Celeste. The Time Wand, labelled as "tempus", could "digitise" the fabric of time, and could release it to manipulate timefields around people or objects.


When Kryten, Kochanski and Cat were sent out from Red Dwarf on a Canary mission to SS Manny Celeste, they found the previous two Canary battalions frozen in time. Mex had removed the device from its reliquary, and not knowing what it was, had stalled their timeline.

Kryten managed to activate the wand, which caused the battalion to move in fits and starts. He also turned it on Kochanski and Cat, accidentally turning them into small children. He attempted to correct his error, but only succeeded in reverting first their hair and then their clothes to how they appeared in their youth. Kryten eventually managed to undo his mistake, and Kochanski asked him to take the battalion back in time, so that Mex and the others remembered nothing of the time wand.

Kryten managed to smuggle the wand aboard Red Dwarf inside his head, so that they could use it to make their prison sentences pass in seconds. He first used it to take revenge on Baxter, by turning his roast chicken into a live chicken and then freezing him, along with the rest of the crew. When he later used the wand to revive Pete the sparrow, it turned him accidentally into a Tyrannosaurus Rex which proceeded to eat his owner and swallow the wand along with the skutter holding it.

After being fed a cow vindaloo, ice cream, ice pops and Coca-Cola, the time wand "passed through" the dinosaur's system. Hollister gave it to Rimmer and Lister to return Pete to normal, because no-one else could make it work. Baxter and Kill Crazy refused to use the wand, favouring a hand-to-hand encounter instead. They tried to attack Rimmer and Lister, but the time wand had placed their bodies out of sync with regular time. Kill Crazy then stole the wand and ran off.

The effects of the fight caught up with Rimmer and Lister in the Captain's office, throwing them about and injuring them. They then found the wand in the hands of the thieves, who had de-evolved themselves into apes. Lister pushed undo and reversed all the changes that had been made, restoring Pete, Birdman and Baxter's group. Rimmer then insisted that Lister destroy the wand to prevent further catastrophes. Lister stamped on the time wand, but a fraction too soon as Pete had laid an egg. Putting the wand back together proved impossible, and the Dwarfers had to come to another solution... Fast. ("Pete Part I", "Pete Part II", Series VIII)